YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
March 31, 2006 on 11:54 am | In Surfers Voice, Narratives | 1 CommentYOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read …
Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked
it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s
fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week
that! you would
like
to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get
the calculator.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year
add 1756 …
If you haven’t, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were
born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each
week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO
SPREAD IT AROUND
WHILE
IT LASTS
Check this out GUYS!!!
March 29, 2006 on 1:36 pm | In Surfers Voice, Narratives | 5 CommentsI only know of one couple that fits to a ‘t’ and they’ve been married over
70 years… gives the rest of us a challenge..doesn’t it?
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year.”
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband’s favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her,
causing her such pain?
“I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,”
The owner said, “I knew you’d call,
and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you’ll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card…
he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out
that he’s no longer here,
that’s the card that should be sent
to you the following year.”
She thanked him and hung up the phone,
her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached
To get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that
he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote…
“Hello my love, I know it’s been a year
since I’ve been gone.
I hope it hasn’t been too hard
for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it’s only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses
will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness,
That we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you
and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please…try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door’s not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt
To take the roses to the place,
where I’ve instructed him.
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can’t stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is
an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship. This is the sacred RED ROSE.
You MUST pass this rose on to at least 5 people
within the hour of receiving this rose.
After you do, make a wish. If you have passed it on, your wish will come
true and love will come your way shortly. If not your life will stay the
same as it has always been. Just be nice and pass it on. May we all be
loved so much.
Friend If I don’t get this back I can take a hint!
How many people actually have 8 true friends?
Hardly anyone I know!
But some of us have all right friends and good
friends!!!
You have been Tagged by the YELLOW bird! Which means you are a great friend!!
You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more
and if this is sent back to you then you know that you are a true
friend…!
Your relationships are the legacy you leave to the world.
What Adults Eventually Learn About the Great Things in Life
March 29, 2006 on 8:55 am | In Surfers Voice, Jokes, Quotes | 1 CommentWhat Adults Eventually Learn About the Great Things in Life
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere…and let the air out of their tires.
Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
If you can remain calm, you don’t have all the facts.
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
Lawyer Joke
March 27, 2006 on 11:33 am | In Surfers Voice, Jokes | 1 CommentAt the height of a highly publicized political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney lashed out at a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.
The prosecutor again blared, “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Found a sorry letter, Enjoy… you can use it!
March 24, 2006 on 1:52 pm | In Surfers Voice | 1 CommentI Made A Mistake In Letting You Go
Dear Brian,
I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could hold you. I’ve realized that I’ve tried to replace you over and over since I made the foolish decision to leave you. But, no one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You are the only one that ever made me so happy. No one could ever take your place. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and left me to cry myself to sleep each and every night with guilt in my heart of how I hurt you. I guess you just don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. I was so stupid to leave you. I know sorry is just a word, but for what it’s worth I am very sorry and I beg with every ounce of my soul please forgive me!
Love Always,
Krissy
Some best doctor joke collection!
March 22, 2006 on 11:22 am | In Jokes | 1 CommentDoctor Joke Collection
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction!
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a bee
Buzz off can’t you see I’m busy?
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO…
What’s wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don’t talk rubbish!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That’s baaaaaaaaaad!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I’m busy!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m a mosquito
Go away, sucker!
Why, Oh Why?
March 21, 2006 on 4:15 pm | In Surfers Voice, Jokes | 1 CommentWhy, Oh Why?
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished?
Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
Why is it you have a “pair” of pants and only one bra?
Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission? Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn’t it be to just hire taller dancers?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Some Ways To Say Someone is Stupid Without the Idiot Knowing It
March 14, 2006 on 12:11 pm | In Surfers Voice, Jokes, Quotes | 1 CommentSome Ways To Say Someone is Stupid Without the Idiot Knowing It
A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A prime candidate for natural DE-selection.
One celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
Donated his body to scientists - before he was done using it.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Fell out of the family tree.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He’s so dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
It’s hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
The Differences between Men and Women
March 11, 2006 on 9:56 am | In Surfers Voice, Jokes | 2 CommentsThe Differences between Men and Women
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Are these your top ten movies for 2005???
March 8, 2006 on 12:39 pm | In Surfers Voice | 1 CommentAre these your top ten movies for 2005???
Well this is mine…
1 Brokeback Mountain
2 Capote
3 The Squid and the Whale
4 Hustle & Flow
5 A History of Violence
6 Grizzly Man
7 Kung Fu Hustle
8 Off The Map
9 Junebug
10 Me and You and Everyone We Know