Archive for December, 2005

2006 is Year of the DOG

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

In the West, the Dog is man’s best friend, but in Chinese Astrology this Sign is a little more unpredictable than that. Dogs are loyal, faithful and honest and always stick to their firm codes of ethics. However, this Sign has trouble trusting others. It’s generally quite trustworthy itself — except for the occasional “little […]

Something I found while Surfin’ the Net. for the Fans of Transformers!!!

Tuesday, December 27th, 2005

t’was the night before Christmas
T’was the night before Christmas, and all through ‘Con base,
Not a Big-D was stirring, not even the tapes.
The weapons were all hung in the armory with care,
In hopes that world conquest would soon be theirs.
The seekers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While dreams of dead Lambo twins danced in their […]

A Merry Microsoft XMAS!

Friday, December 23rd, 2005

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa’s mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While […]

Twelve days of Xmas: For Animal Lovers Everywhere

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Twelve days of Xmas
The first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
…A horse sized dildo in my pussy.
The second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
… Two big cocked dogs…etc.
The third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
… Three french cows…etc.
The fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent […]

The 12 Days Of Christmas (For the politically correct)

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to
me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
their union contract even though they […]

Blood Red Rose

Monday, December 19th, 2005

Blood Red Rose
by the phoenix with the broken wings
I look into your eyes and see
A blood rose looking back at me
I try and try to look away
But you have caught me so I stay
I’ve never seen eyes quite like yours
Down to your soul, your eyes are doors
So now I see, your soul is red
I come […]

A riddle for yah!!!

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

Riddle Question
What can go up a chimney down, or down a chimney down, but can’t go up a chimney up, or down a chimney up?
Riddle Answer
An Umbrella.

Emily Dickinson’s The Birds begun at Four o’clock

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

The Birds begun at Four o’clock –
Their period for Dawn –
A Music numerous as space –
But neighboring as Noon –
I could not count their Force –
Their Voices did expend
As Brook by Brook bestows itself
To multiply the Pond.
Their Witnesses were not –
Except occasional man –
In homely industry arrayed –
To overtake the Morn –
Nor was it for […]

B-Day Sex

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”
His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she […]

Food for Thought

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400, carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!
Well, […]